t’s not common to discuss fertility problems publicly: for some people, this topic is too intimate, while others feel ashamed of it. However, we aren’t embarrassed to complain about back pain but we’re too afraid to admit that we may be having some difficulties getting pregnant. Even though modern medicine can help in both cases.
My name is Julia. I’m 39 years old and 8 years ago I faced the problem of being unable to conceive: I couldn’t get pregnant and bear a child. I want to share my story and support women who are in the same situation. Especially those who may be worried, frustrated, disappointed, and unable to make a decision.
This article can be also helpful for Bright Side readers who haven’t faced this obstacle. It can help you better understand what your colleague or a friend may feel and just give her the support she needs when people tell her it’s time to have a baby because “her biological clock is ticking.”
I started to consider having kids after I turned 30. In my perfect world, I’d have had 3 children. So it was high time to start giving birth to them.
When nothing happened in the first year, I wasn’t too disappointed: I thought I had at least 20 years before menopause. But I went to the doctor just in case. I did some research and figured out that I should visit a fertility specialist right away.
Then our long journey began and it lasted for about 4 years. We spent loads of money to run medical tests and my husband and I became regular visitors at the doctor’s office, but nothing changed. During this time, we passed almost all the existing blood tests. Well, maybe except the one for the plague. My husband also didn’t waste time and even treated a non-existent disease. But, the miracle still didn’t happen.
My biological clock started ticking.
I met other women with a similar problem online, read about the probable causes of this condition, thought about it a lot and was extremely worried. Every woman who’s faced the inability to conceive probably asks herself: “Why did it happen? What’s wrong with me? I’m probably different if I can’t even give birth. Or maybe it’s a sign that I shouldn’t have a baby? I can live without children, right? Oh, no, it’s not a sign, I’ve never believed in signs and I want a baby! I want it!…”
I was in this my mental state for years. In the end, I was so mentally exhausted that I decided to start psychotherapy. And it worked, but not immediately.