According to scientists, relationships that don’t have care, compromise, and love in them can hardly be called healthy. Still, those features are not the key to happiness. Some people try to behave with their loved ones using all their love and care, but things just get worse. In this case, they should stop being kind and turn on their “jerkiness” mode. What for? We found the answers in publications written by the psychologists Will Meek and Tina Gilbertson.
We at Bright Side have decided to figure out the difference between adequate actions and excessive self-sacrifice by taking the sure signs of a healthy relationship into account.
1. Care vs home slavery
True cooperation and fair allocation of responsibilities is the right type of behavior inside a family. Everyone should take care of a certain part of the family responsibilities and receive appropriate gratitude for them.
However, things can work in a different way. Once you decide to take on more responsibility because you want your loved ones to feel more happy and comfortable, your actions become less valuable to your family members, thus making them even more demanding.
According to psychologists, self-sacrifice brings more harm than benefits to your family. You expect more gratitude for your additional actions and when you don’t get it you become irritated and annoyed. So in turn, your family members hear complaints and reproaches from you but do nothing about it. It’s a vicious cycle!
How can you break the cycle? First, you need to remove the following thoughts from your mind when it comes to simple chores:
- “They can’t do it without me.”
- “I’ll do it better and faster.”